Dear APUA, (powerless company)
Retirement Wasn’t Supposed to Include This
Warm greetings from Vernons in Antigua and Barbuda, currently brought to you by candlelight, battery packs, and the occasional flicker of hope. Now, I know retirement was supposed to be peaceful. A little gardening, a little TV, maybe a nap or two under a humming fan. Instead, it seems I’ve unintentionally signed up for a full-time role as an outage survival specialist, and emotional support human to a house full of traumatized appliances. The electricity situation here? Let’s just say if reliability were a requirement, it would’ve been fired ages ago. We’re losing power so often, I’m starting to think Vernons has been quietly cut off from the rest of the grid and hooked up to a potato battery. A dying one.
Outages on Their Own Schedule and Appliance Drama
And the timing. Middle of the day? Gone. Right when I’ve started the washing machine? Gone. The kettle boils halfway and gives up. The iron pretends to heat then just takes a break. My poor fridge is hanging on by a thread, and honestly, I think it’s considering retiring with me. At this rate, we’ll both be living off ice blocks and mutual disappointment.
Let’s talk about appliances for a second — mine are starting to behave like they’re in a dysfunctional relationship with the electricity supply. They never know when it’s coming, how long it’s staying, or if it’s ever coming back. The microwave? PTSD. The TV? Constant trust issues. The fan? Delirious.
Off-Grid… Against My Will
I’m now living in what feels like an accidental off-grid experiment except I’m still paying full price.
A Simple Request (Before the Blender Quits Too)
Look, I know things happen. Wires break, poles fall but if we’re losing power this frequently and unpredictably in 2025, maybe it’s time someone takes a walk around Vernons and figures out whether we’ve been cursed or just completely forgotten. In the meantime, I’ll be here sweating and consoling my fridge as it stares into the void.
Kindly consider sorting this out before the blender files for early retirement too.
Signed,
Sleepless in Vernon’s
Tropical Storm Jerry Plot Twist
And here’s the real plot twist: During Tropical Storm Jerry, the power stayed on. Not a flicker, not a stutter, not even a dramatic dimming. I was shocked. My appliances were confused. My fridge briefly believed in miracles again. Because normally, APUA cuts the power at the mere thought of a cloud looking slightly adventurous. But the moment Jerry packed up and left? Boom! darkness returned like it forgot something inside. Go figure.
